Despite her protests, data collected from local reports over a period of six months have recently been used to confirm that Tara-Jane M. is so a big scuzbag. Alerted by Ellie J. in early 2014, the Police have been overwhelmed by the evidence suggesting the eight year old's description of her classmate as a "big mush-face wang-lord" is shockingly accurate.
Reports from the student-founded 'We Hate Tara-Jane M.' Club piece together the unsightly picture that is the scuzzy eight year old. "One time I saw her kick a cat," recounts one, whilst others claim seeing her picking her nose, or wielding a trident as her eyes flashed the fiery red of Satan's pit of death.
The Police have also released an official statement, outlining the indicators of the archetypal scuzbag for an early diagnosis:
- Big horrid yellow teeth and smelly breath
- A general lack of respect for their elders
- Physical imperfections which are obviously signs of coordination with the devil (e.g. disabilities and birth marks)
- Wearing the same clothes two or more days in a row
- Repetition of the phrase "This world will fall, Satan will rise" in a deep, bellowing voice
- Wearing the same ponytail as your best friend did like practically yesterday