Cinema Hires Annoying Children for Authentic Cinematic Experience

A cinema in Bath has recently employed groups of children with an average age of twelve to talk throughout films with irritating and pointless interjections. The change comes about as reports conclude the majority of kids now stream movies illegally before their official cinematic release, explains manager Phil M. Watcher. "Without kids coming to the cinema, we needed to attract a different audience to pay our extautionally reasonable film prices."

Why Tara-Jane M. is a Total Scuzbag

Despite her protests, data collected from local reports over a period of six months have recently been used to confirm that Tara-Jane M. is so a big scuzbag. Alerted by Ellie J. in early 2014, the Police have been overwhelmed by the evidence suggesting the eight year old's description of her classmate as a "big mush-face wang-lord" is shockingly accurate.